Leah's Crafty Life: 2010

Friday, December 31, 2010

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Monday, December 6, 2010

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Dear family and friends,

It has been a complete blessing to have you all in my life. Knowing you are thinking of my family and I during this time has been a comfort to me. All the letters, notes, and phone calls have kept me going. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

xoxo
♥,
Leah

Dear Mom,

Today was another hard day. I barely slept last night tossing and turning. I woke up at exactly 4:00 am this morning. It was so weird. I instantly thought of you. I will be sending the girls back to school Thursday and Friday. Eddie and I (Doug too) went to the Cemetery to pick out your final resting place. I think you will love it. It's in the garden called the Good Shephard. It has a statue of Jesus with his shephards hook and his flock surrounding him. Your marker is tasteful, it was tough deciding on one, but Eddie and I finally agreed on it. I heard from the minister today. We couldn't find the one that Eddie wanted, which is unfortunate, but I'm really happy with the Minister we talked to. I have just emailed him tonight telling him stories from your childhood that I remember, things that you liked, that you did... as much as I could remember. I think the service will be touching. I pray it will be. I'm a bit mad right now. Jackie told Aunt Pat today that your death notice wasn't in Wednesday's paper. I bought a paper late this evening, and she was right.. your notice wasn't in there. I'm mad/scared/pissed thinking the Funeral home may not have emailed the Obituary out yet. I'm crossing everything I have, and praying hard that it prints in Thursdays paper. That it's accurate. I just want everything to be perfect as I can make it for you, for family. I don't want any hurt feelings. It's so hard trying to remember it all. Amy is having a speghetti dinner at her house Friday night. And Saturday after the funeral we will gather at Amy's house for a luncheon. It's a special gift she is giving me hosting these functions at her house. Thank you so much cuz! And many thanks to Aunt Pat for providing so much of the afternoons meal.

I think of you constantly. I feel like I was a bad daughter because I wasn't thinking of you more and appreciating you as often while you were here with me. I'm so glad I grew up enough, in time to appreciate you as much as I had while you were here. The kids and I picked out special items we will be placing with you on Saturday. Their so excited for you to see them. We'll be writing you letters tomorrow too. Oh, I talked to Carol, Jackie M, and Melanie yesterday. It was nice to hear from old friends. Your Pallbearers will be Katelyn, Doug, Edward, Brian, Brad, and Dale. I love you mom. I miss you more than I can convey in once sentence.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ RIP Mom ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Doodled by Leah's Crafty Life

Dear Mom,

I woke up this morning a little earlier than usual so I could make the children pancakes and bacon before I sent them off to school. I was thinking about Katelyn's band concert from the night before, and how I hoped I had gotten enough songs on the flip so you could hear them this week... I knew you would love them. Katelyn woke up at her usual time, Samantha lounged around on the floor as long as she could before I started squawking at her to get to the table and wake up. Doug and Cameron were still sleeping, but would be surprised with the breakfast like the girls were when they woke up. Katelyn was letting Hamburger outside and noticed a car in front of our house, so she told me. I went to the door and thought the car looked familiar, but it just didn't register with whom it could be. I yelled out at 6:15 asking if they needed any help. A minute later I hear Aunt Pat's voice telling me she'll be inside in a minute. I thought it was the weirdest thing she was here so early in the morning. Rarely do we ever just drop in on each other, and so early in the morning too... I hadn't had a sip of coffee yet as I had packed Doug's lunch, and breakfast was halfway finished cooking.

As I was flipping pancakes Aunt Pat came around the corner. She sat her purse on the table, and I asked her if she was ok. Then I saw Amy come around the corner too. Aunt Pat answered, No. I looked at her and asked her if she needed a hug. She said, I think we'll all need one, and she started walking toward me. She said she had something to tell me, but had to wait for Eddie to get here.You know how the hairs on the back of your neck feel like they stick up when you are really scared for your life? Mine did that. I told her she had to tell me. Please, just tell me! She says, Leah your mom passed away at the paper drop this morning while rolling her newspapers. What? No. NO. WHAT? This must be a bad nightmare.... what are you saying to me?

I mean.. I just spoke to you last night mom.. you talked about how tired you were. I can't remember the specifics of the phone call, but I do remember you telling me to hug and kiss the kids for you, and to tell them that you loved them. Mom... I need to talk to you. To hear your voice. To see you hug my children. To watch them grow some more. It hurts so much missing you mom. I feel like I'm in a fog. Grandma, Pam, Brian, and Brad are coming into town Thursday and leaving Saturday. I feel so badly for Katelyn, I didn't get to tell her because she overheard Pat telling me... she rushed into our bedroom to wake up Doug. She was such a trooper today helping watch Cameron, she got Samantha off the bus this afternoon too. Eddie and I made all the arrangements at the funeral home and we are going to the Cemetery in the morning to make arrangements there. After Eddie and Bubby left, Doug and I took Samantha in the bedroom to tell her that you are in heaven now. I don't think I'll ever forget that look on her tiny porcelain face. Cameron doesn't understand quite the same way Samantha does, but know that they will never forget you.

I looked through my deleted voice mails this morning.. looking for the ones from you. I saved a couple of those. I wonder if I can somehow download them to my computer? I realize I never got enough photos of you and the babies together. I hope you know how much you were loved by all of us. I pray the obituary is ok... I thought I had 30 more years to worry about this. Who thinks their mom is going to pass away so young?

Deborah Lynn Hensley

January 4, 1955 ~ November 30, 2010

If tears could build a stairway,
and memories were a lane,
I would walk right up to heaven
to bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken
no time to say goodbye
you were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness
and heart wrenching tears still flow,
what it meant to lose you,
no one will ever know.

I love you so much mom.