...and it hurts. I breathe in too deeply, and I ache for my moms voice.
I can't remember a time (except for when I was 18/19) that I went more than 3 or 4 days without talking to my mom on the phone. We lived ten minutes away.. between her busy work schedule, and mine with the kids, we saw each other a few times a month.. but we spoke almost daily.
I don't even know what to do. My plate is overwhelming at the moment. I'm trying to dig deep to find the strength to pull my head out of my ass like I know you would do. Even when you struggled, you were strong and worked your way through it. I have to sit with the kids tonight to finish decorating the Christmas tree. It's like I would be happy to just skip over it.
I went to your house last night and started going through some of your things. Eddie is pretty much letting me take whatever I want so far. He's giving me your car.You'll be happy to know Katelyn will be driving it.
I don't know where to put your things I am grabbing right now.... and I don't have time to BREATHE again because now I just feel hounded. I wish you were here. I wish more than anything I would wake up from this nightmare and find a missed call from you asking me where I had left my phone bc I didn't answer it.