you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why...
Cameron will be playing a game or trucks and just start singing that Christmas song. It breaks my heart we've not had the money to start Christmas shopping yet.... and to be perfectly honest, until just this past second, I hadn't really WANTED to shop for Christmas presents.
I kinda feel like I'm in thick air... I see everybody moving on around me, but I'm sullen, angry, sad, and have no wish to do anything. I have thank you notes to make and write. Presents to buy. Grocery shopping to do. Clothes to wash. Christmas cards to send. I can't get up the motivation to get up and do the things that need doing.
When I come to my blog to start letting my feelings out, tears pool in my eyes, my heart wrenches tightly, and I miss my mom so much. On the other hand, I feel guilty as hell that I've not taken the time (Lord knows I have tons of time) to do all the things on my to do list. Basic things like grocery shopping. I can do that... Alls I really want to do is pick up the phone and call my MOM.
The urge to speak to her is so great. So overwhelming.
I had a dream last night I had leukemia. I don't know what that's all about.
I really wish I could borrow some of Santa's elves to get all my work done. Heck. I would settle for the gumption. the get up and go to get things done. Instead, I spend numerous hours a day on facebook playing mind numbing gates like bejeweled blitz and zuma.
If you are overflowing in holiday cheer, please pass some my way.