Thursday, February 9, 2006

I'm so lonely without you babe

I heard back from my OB's nurse yesterday evening, and they have me scheduled to come in early Friday morning for another NST and a visit with the doc. I pray this NST goes much better than previous ones.... don't think I am up to another 3 hours of monitoring at the hospital.

Let's hope we schedule an induction date too!!

Doug has been getting more work shoveled on top of him over the last two weeks at work lately. It's weird. He doesn't mind staying busy, but when he is taking over all his boss's work too, it's just not right. He's actually telling his boss what to do, and nagging him to finish up his work. I hardly have a chance to chat with Doug on MSN anymore. He's been distant at home too, which I know is work related. Not only from his daytime job, but our small home business as well.

I feel bad I can't walk down a flight of stairs to do a load of laundry.
I feel bad I can't get down on the floor right now to help assemble the crib and dresser unit.
I feel bad I can't program yet to help alleviate the stress of having to do it all.

I feel lonely.
And sad.
and sorry...

I miss you Doug. I wish I could help out more with the things only you can do at this time. I do promise to cut you some slack, and be more understanding of you having too many irons in the fire. I pray this sciatic nerve pain starts healing quickly as soon as I have our son. I'm sorry this pregnancy has caused you so much extra work, and me so much pain.

I'm not sure if any of this makes much sense, but I want you to know I love you, and I hope if you are holding even the slightest grudge against me (even though you do not show it), that you will forgive me for not helping as I wish I could. I love you.

1 comment:

  1. Leah,

    Hon, I think you are one of the bravest and most wonderful wives/mothers in the world. Through this third pregnancy, you have been in incredible pain with your sciatic nerve pinched, and more than likely a slipped disc, with nothing more than a stinking Tylenol from your Dr whom I am not happy with.

    On top of all that, when I try to tell you I could have done something for you, or ask why you didnt let me know you needed something done, you stubbornly respond you want to help as much as you can.

    Then for added bonus, you take care of our 2-10 month old daughter throughout this pregnancy each day at home by yourself, chasing, feeding, holding, loving and mothering through all the pain and everything else (not even healed completely from having her). And you even manage to keep our oldest nine year old going to her girl scout meetings/outings and church each sunday and thursday, while still cooking dinner each night as well.

    So when you wonder if I hold a grudge against you for not helping work around the house with laundry and other things like the programming with our business, I have to wonder if you are crazy to think you could do more than you already are. But whatever the answer to that one, I love you more than anything in the world, and am proud to have you bearing my children and being my wife, not to mention putting up with my own moodiness from work and all the other irons in the fire as you said.




Thank you for taking the time to leave me a comment, it warms my heart. I hope you have a blessed day. Crafty hugs, Leah

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